"Kids Just Come to Me"

Amy Geislinger

Photo Credit: Amy Geislinger

Background

I grew up in Woodbury, Minnesota but I went to two different universities in Wisconsin; the University of Wisconsin-Superior for the first two years, and the University of Wisconsin-Stout, for the last two years. I did it all in four years, which is pretty impressive. I did school throughout the summer and winter, so I was almost full-time. My major was Human Development and Family Studies, so basically studying families and how they work together. I started working at the Boys and Girls Club when I was in Superior and I did three or four summer jobs there before my internship. After I graduated, I was going to do my internship at a Boys and Girls Club in Colorado. It ended up falling through on my part, so I did my internship in Menomonie, where I graduated college. Then I moved back here because this was within driving distance and where I could get interviews.

Why the Boys and Girls Club?

The Boys and Girls Club was the one direction that I wanted to go because I love the organization. I love the way that it’s an after school program but then in the summer it’s a program all around for kids to just learn stuff about life and lessons that you may not get to teach as a teacher in school. It’s different though because it’s not as focused as that. Here it’s more one-on-one time with kids. When I was younger, I always wanted to be a teacher. Then once I grew up, I knew I didn’t want to be a teacher. I think this is like a different kind of working with kids and it’s a different way to teach kids. I’ve always had a passion for working with kids, and they are always drawn to me at family functions or when I go anywhere in public. Random kids will just come up to me in public and start talking to me. So I feel like I’ve just known that I need to do that in life because kids just come to me and it’s weird [laughs]. I’ve just always felt like I need to do this.

Similarities and Differences

My immediate family is pretty small, I just have my mom, dad, and my brother. One of my biggest struggles with the kids at the club is that sometimes they see me as a white person and they’re like “You don’t understand my life.” And the way I grew up in a middle class white family with divorced parents and one brother, I really didn’t have a lot going on. Yes, everybody has their struggles and has family issues or whatever, but I was pretty fortunate with the way I grew up and I think sometimes that can be a struggle between me and the kids. Something that I like to point out to the kids though is that even though this is how I grew up, it wasn’t always easy for me. When I went to college, it wasn’t easy. It took me awhile to get in and I had to work my butt off, because I wasn’t accepted anywhere. So it’s something that I try to let them know, that even though you might not come from a lot or you might not have a lot at home, you can still do a lot in life. I was provided with things and I still sucked in high school and got a terrible ACT score. You think about what you’re given and how easy that is versus what you have to work for. So I guess I just think sometimes it’s hard because I don’t match them and so it’s not something we can always easily bond over. Based on my experiences there are certain things I can relate to with the kids, but in the end it is still hard because I can’t always relate to everything.

What It's Like

In order to work with kids, you have to be patient and you have to really take time to be present with them. I think about this kid all the time when I go home after work. He comes in after school and he’s got so much energy, so much that he could be the tazmanian devil and go around this room and just tear it up. It’s because he’s so excited to be here, so he’s completely up and in your face. Today he almost gave me a paper cut because he was trying to give me his paper to get his homework done and I just have to breathe. I was like, “I really need you to take a step back because you’re going to give me a paper cut” [laughs]. So really just being present and taking a moment to realize that this kid is just really excited to be here and he’s not trying to hurt anyone. I would say that’s the only thing that can be hard with a position like this is that you really have to be able to battle through those times when everyone is just going crazy.

It can be overwhelming as a staff when you already don’t have enough of you to go around and now we have to kind of do more than we’re already doing, and so that can get stressful. I think now we’ve kind of figured out a way to make it work, but for a few months we were in survival mode. You definitely have to have patience. That’s something I try to teach the kids because like I said, there’s only one of me in here and that can be hard for them. Sometimes they just need that one-on-one time to help them draw something or help them focus because they’re so antsy to get it done. So sometimes that’s a challenge in itself that I can’t be more than just me. I can only give out whatever I have and then once my energy is gone, or once I can’t help all of the kids, then sometimes they end up leaving or they don’t get their stuff done. It’s hard to see that. There’s just a lot of kids in here, a lot going on, a lot of homework, a lot of need, and there’s not a lot of me to go around, there’s only physically one of me.

Second Home

A lot of kids view me as a mom. I don’t really know how I’m a mom to them, but I guess I’m some sort of mom or family figure. Sometimes in my eyes they do things that I would want to do with my mom like hang out or just give them a hug. I've also had experiences with them that’s almost like an experience I would like to have with like with my kids someday. I talked to a kid today and he was telling me that he doesn’t like to do his homework because he wants to come here and just relax. Because this is like going home for them; this is their next place after school. Some kids are up from five thirty in the morning just so they can go to a better school than where they live and then they don’t leave here until seven o’clock at night. That’s a long day. So it’s definitely their home. It’s their place to just unwind everything and anything that’s inside their brain or body.

I also think that the Boys and Girls Club is a place for children to grow because sometimes they’re able to do more here than they can at school, or at least we’re able to help them a little bit more. At least I believe sometimes we’re more mindful about the kids versus I think sometimes in schools they’re not able to say “Oh I should call your parent and let them know you did really good today at reading this book for two pages,” for example. Teachers probably don’t have time to do that. But when I’m here, I try to take the time to tell parents or family certain things just because sometimes that’s a kid who gets in trouble a lot. I have parents who will say “I get a call every day from this kid, he’s always getting in trouble.” So then those are the kids who I’m like “Oh your kid is so good and he did this one great thing today,” whatever that thing may be. So you have to use that to your advantage when you work in a place like this because then the kid can at least have some hope in their life that they’re not a terrible child or that they’re not just going to go to jail. Because some parents are pretty harsh on their kids and they’ll tell them stuff and it’s just like, you’re better than that. You’re not gonna do that or you’re not gonna be that; you’re okay. And this is kind of the place for all of that.

Only Home

One hard part though is really realizing that there are kids that I'm working with who are homeless. They aren’t just people that I don’t know, they’re real kids that I see every single day. Its like, you go home and you can just chill, watch tv and Netflix and eat all kinds of food, and then you come back here the next day to these kids and they're still struggling after months to get help finding housing, shelters, or food. It was crazy to see how the kids were so unstable from being homeless to then how afterwards they are able to just be a kid again instead of always being in survival mode. Because sometimes they had to think like, “I have to eat dinner at the club, and I have to eat snack, and I might even have to try to get some extra snack.” You would see a lot of stuff like that and you might even discipline them and be like, “No you can't steal that,” or “You can't have more.” But when you do start to realize what’s really going on you're like “Okay, it's okay.” Then it makes you think, “Dang, I should probably be more mindful of every kid because there might be a reason why that's happening.”

The Future

I think learning from the kids is the best part and is one of the biggest things I have to take away. It makes my job a little bit easier and it’s really cool just to get to know all the different kids and the different lives that they have; it’s mind blowing sometimes. Everyday the kids will come in and they have something that they do or say, that totally throws me off and I just want to fall to the floor and either laugh or cry. If any of us here ever wanted to leave or we ever felt like we needed to move on or find a different job, I think that the hardest part would be leaving the relationship you have with the kids. And I've thought about it. How do you even end something like that? But I would say most likely I will probably always work with kids. At least until I maybe have some of my own someday.

Photo Credit: Samantha Boyd